Die Afrimerikaner

Potjiekos met seëninge

Verbasend staan ek stil, my eie lewe, die van 'n dromer. 'n Gedagte wat vir agt minute in my kop rond karjakker. Hierdie gedagte 'n spruit van 'n wete. Potjiekos vir die siel in hierdie wete.

Naasteliefde lê wel vêr, maar in hierdie liefdebande word jy groot. 'n Tyd van kompos en eie voete vind, 'n glimlag in die son want ek weet mos, sy abba my soos haar eie kind. Twee jaar oud had hy nou, die dromer van Afrika, kaal voete in die more dou. Los gebreek van alles wat hom bind, swerwer sonder rigting, 'n soeker wat wel vind.

"Strand toe", se sy toe eendag vir hom, "twee sal jy daar vind, 'n sela vir jou vrede en 'n sela vir jou gesin." Ek loop met haar in my kop. Oppad see toe, ek sal eendag weer by haar grafsteen stop. Klomp kaal voete wat my help langs die pad. Water vir die dors, julle hou my lippe nat.

In hierdie gedagte 'n rilling wat my rug laat bewe, dankie vir jou kompas, die wete dat ek my droom kan lewe.

When its there, grab it.

I knew it was going to be a good one when it started with a story beginning with "once my grandmother went to Thailand." It started in Miami. Two crazy people staying with others....sort of similar minded, but yet completely different. Only words come to my head: Sushi, Lincoln, Sushi, Delano, Sushi, Bacardi, Sushi, White, Sushi, Beach, Sushi, Photos, Sushi. oh....cruise, sushi. Yes, it involved a cruise to the Bahamas and also again sushi. And that reminded me of the snorkeling on the reef just off Nassau. It was breathtaking. Emotions in a span of two hours that ranged from extreme adrenaline when seeing a snake to utter peace of mind and heart, floating thinking of nothing but how lucky these two souls are, and how friendship connects stronger when you share these moments. In some way I wish more people were there, I know of a lot of people that needed that. But hopefully they will find their piece in me.

Moderately sunny. The two added another. Got into his car (1990 Chrysler New Yorker) and left. First stop Dallas. Here the city throws them with its structure. Breath in. Smell. Somewhere it smells like popcorn, no, wait, it must be croissants. Art. Two days later another joined. Suddenly it changes again. The city again, at night this time. A Mexican friend hops into one night for Brazilian fun. On the road again. El Paso. First sight at night. Crazed by how big it is. A nice hotel with a microwave. Budget. A closed embassy, an open local bakery. Up a scenic route and pushed down with a sandstorm. Another day, another OUTLET MALL! On the road again. A stop at nothing. The backwards gas station with an African owner. Hamburgers. Phoenix. A night in yet another great hotel. An English pub. Three quickly enters the scene. Breakfast. Cactus. Uphill. Pine trees. Snow. Another great moment in the snow. Waiting for a fix, but being high on nature. Car fixed, well sort of. On the road again. Grand Canyon. “Wow”, “Look there”, “no, look there!” The astonishment of absence. One of the few places where your everyday person find beauty in absence. But beauty it was…with a sunset. A glimpse of the Hoover dam. Uphill, and down hill. Lights. Vegas. People. Vegas. Lights. Found another place where night time might just as well be day time. Another joins. A bag stays. He brings with him Christmas. A morning where a frown turned to a smile. Feelings deep, expressions low. In a minute the past four months and the past flashes. An ache in the heart for a bit, but not for long. No time. Simpsons in a Kinder egg.

Hit the road again. Traffic, but not for us. A smile in every heart. Five souls, smiling. Realizing the beauty. (yes, the satisfaction of seeing content Germans. Haha.) A few more miles. Welcome to California. Los Angeles. Hollywood Inn. A sudden struck in the head that I do not realize where I am. The Hollywood sign, the club, the stars. Just thinking I never dreamed of walking here, but also I expected it a lot different, and not a city that still lives in 1950. Mulholland Drive. Bubba Gump. Run Forest and have some more! A drive to Long beach, discover a piece of home. Leave the piece of home behind, taking only pictures. The OC, New Port beach. Laguna beach. Again not realizing what I am doing and how lucky I am. A club with great music, a strange older woman hitting on me, and a robot guy looking for robot girl. Next morning a drive to Malibu. Beautiful drive next to the ocean. A planned cocktail with a decision not to. Drive up to San Francisco. Cape Town in America. A blurred vision of home. A contrast between human and nature beauty. People looking at the bridge, maybe one or two, including this soul, looking past the bridge. A swim to Alcatraz…haha…not really. The harbor and seafood. I picked the best one. Life flying by. Another time “Ich bin glücklich”. All souls happy in the real form of happiness. A drive to the Napa. Some bumps in the road. Five. Wine at a price. Different than I am used to. The surroundings are similar but different. A new beginning brings us closer to the end. New years. A club with alcohol, dance, girls, craziness, picking up the other South African because there are Dutch girls you have to listen to. Hollie. A wait for the taxi cab. Drunk but a bit worried about his knees. Sit down and talk. I am happy for her. He is a nice guy and will handle her with care. The thought made me smile.

Packed and ready to go. One soul leaves. An absence in the car. Suddenly in Vegas again. The absence filled with a what seems like a coffin from New Zealand. Drive to Albuquerque. Long drive. Tiredness hitting. Sleep. A frozen swimming pool. On the road again. This time for 20. “U 2 u 2 u2 u2”. “Ok, we can make it”. Shaky shaky. Oxford. It did not feel that long. The drive was fine. A conversation to really catch up with an old friend helped a lot. Friends meet friends. SLEEEEEEEP.

One day later. 3 original souls and a last minute 4^th and one with a heavy hart.

“Lets have breakfast, we’ll be fine!” Say our goodbyes. Split up. Realize it does not take long to miss someone when they leave. Run through security, Gate C2, run run run, NO Gate B34, run run run, NO Gate C4, run run run. Ok we are late, its Gate C14, but we are late. Walk. The flight delayed by 40 minutes. YEAY! “Glücklich!” In a strange way 1hour turned into 5 in Chicago. Fly to New York. Reunite. This time with one more. We are five again. Five seems like a good number. Times Square. “Ooh. Aahh. Wow…ok, lets go sleep.” 12 beds, a crazy smelly Japanese guy and us. We sleep nonetheless. South Africans hitting up an orchestra. Ok, wake up. A new day, New York. Walk walk walk. Central Park. Through snow and out at the strawberry fields. Paid our respects to Lennon. Liberty with a sunset. A bit too late, but still some nice pictures. A slice of China town. A bar. A shawarma/Donor Kebab. Another day. More stuff to do. Rockefeller with the Christmas tree. Christmas is definitely fading. Another subway. Walk a bit more. Empire State at night. Another day of tourist stuff. Another bar. Another Shawarma/Donor Kebab. A stare into nothing. A question blows me into reality again. “What are you thinking about?” The answer created a lot of laughter. “My grave stone” I said. Laughter with a “But why?”. I realized in that moment that I want a writing on my grave stone saying something like “He lived his life to the fullest,” or just “he enjoyed.”Another day. A friend leaves. I don’t realize it. The show goes on. Somewhere in the back of my mind he is missing, but we just go on. We split up. Two goes for more tourist stuff, and two sit down and watch and experience the New York local culture. We meet up again. A comedy show, a long walk to freedom to the Madiba bar for a beer. Closed. Lets walk a little more. A random “dive bar”, one beer and a new South African guy. Another wait for the late night subway. We arrive bit less than 1hour before we have to leave. A first time sleeping on an aeroplane. Memphis. Oxford.

Somehow all of this are still just a dream. I do not know if it was nature that brought us together, but these experiences with all these people at the perfect times contributed to a perfect holiday. Something so extraordinary that it will be told for generations, at least to grand children. I cannot really describe what I feel inside, but know that true appreciation is somewhere in there, connected with true happiness, or as one of my professors explained, Ananda.

The only thing I can say to these crazy souls….THANK YOU!

The pictures are not in order, but that is just to piss off the perfectionists out there..haha!

Chillin in Malibu.

San Francisco.

Wine tasting in the Napa Valley.

NEW YORK NEW YORK!

Imagine. John lennon.

Charlize's star.

Hollywood.

Los Angeles beach.

Springbok bar in Long Beach.

Laguna Beach.

El Paso Scenic Drive.

Phoenix Breakfast.

5000 ft. on the way to Grand Canyon.

Grand Canyon.

Excalibur in Las Vegas.

Lincoln Rd. South Beach, Miami.

Just arrived in Nassau, Bahamas.

Snorkling at Bahamas.

Yes, on the cruise we did pack away!

Dallas, Texas.

Thank you!

Ages.

It definitely has been a while since I last wrote on here, and to be fair, I've had a lot of fun while not writing. I was living it up in Pensacola beach, tangoing (if there is such a word) with a beautiful dutch girl on the beach, and had the best food in the states. Life back at Olemiss is good. I am working right now (guess you can guess how much i am actually doing right now) at the Alcohol and Drug program of the university. It is really good experience, and also working at OPTI the play therapy institute. I never thought I would say this, but I did get close to a lot of people here, made some really good friends in a short while, and fought my way to a good living for the next year.

I guess life is like the lady that walks underneath the umbrella right now outside my window.

Sole.

Have you ever walked in your favorite shoes till your feet feels the gravel through the soles? And what happens then? You are sad because you have to chuck them. This thought brought to my attention that so many people walk their soles off and buy new ones....what I'm getting to is that we don't really appreciate the ability to walk. I was thinking of a good friend and great person in a wheelchair. How it must feel to never be able to walk off your soles. I am thinking too much. Maybe a good thing. I am also sorting out my head, figuring out how to get through the next year and how to take another step towards a dream that has been in my head for quite a while. At least his shoes stay in a good condition for a longer time.

Exchange.

Conversation. Chinese. Conversation. Arabic. Conversation. Hebrew. Conversation. German. Conversation. American. I am for the first time in my life realizing how much I am learning at this point and time. I am influenced by so many cultures and lifestyles, and the term I can think of that describes towards what I am heading is "world-wise." Not only do you learn about other cultures, but you explain yours. And the more you explain, the more you realize the difference.

Tomato.

Today I feel like boiled water. Yesterday I made the mistake of going to the pool at 12pm. It was a bit cloudy, and I haven't really before tested this American sun, but I thought that it should be fine, because it is cloudy and not really that hot. STUPID MISTAKE! I am red to my ears and burning up every second. haha. I guess I am lucky that I have someone to care that brought me some really nice cream.

Summer is going well. I am excited to move into the new apartment. Something for at least a little while that I can call my own.

Paint!

A good thing happened this week! I took one of my paintings to a gallery on the square in Oxford, and they liked it! They said that if I paint more they would hang it! Guess what I am doing next week....

the last few.

somehow in the minute you are there. here.
you came in the last few, my wine, my smoke, my ashes.
i breathe in, you breathe. your smell, the wrinkles on your hand.
you are here, present, far.

in a sip, out a breath, for this minute, 00:14.
a photo in my head, a touch on my hand,
for a second you are.
from summer to winter in this minute,
from the cold of nothing to the heat of your skin, a second.

i need you to move, but the thought, photo, you
still, cold, breathless, lifeless. You are.

Time left for a minute in this second.

Back.

I am still on a plane...somewhere in the world....this holiday home felt like seconds....and yet I am still in this merely awake state of being in America. I guess I am somewhere on a plane...flying...dreaming.

To be back in Oxford is fun....on the one hand...academics is taking its toll, but somehow I tend to always entertain myself....even if it is summer break and me and my class mates are almost the only ones here.

Life is.

Check out my pics from the perfect holiday home:

http://olemiss.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2078325&l=2a69a&id=6521127

They still do make me laugh!

We went to go watch Damien Rice the other night at the Orpheum in Memphis. It was really great! Afterwards we stood outside deciding where to go for a beer, and we got invited to go to his afterparty...Free booze, talking to Damien Rice, and him sitting on the floor, 30cm away from me, playing and singing the most amazing songs....it was GREAT!

Check out the photo's:

http://olemiss.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2080214&l=91815&id=6521127

Peace.

The perfect holiday....home!

I know that life has taken some twists and turns since I've been writing here, but believe me it was good. I am now on holiday for three weeks in SA. SA welcomed me with sunshine and a tear. I am happy. I was home for about 4 days, then left with a good friend to Cape Town to stay with three other friends that took almost a week off work, and one flew up from Jo'burg just to spend the week with me. Moments of awe was when we were on top of Table mountain (I am kicking myself for it being the first time), sunset in Camps Bay, Making memories with black and white photo's, returning to the wine farm I stayed on and also remembering that some of the nights I dont remember. I am now with my family staying in Houtbay. We are staying in a house where you can spit into the waves crashing on the rocks below. It is breathtaking. I will see two good Oxfordian South African friends this weekend. I am having the perfect holiday! I would not want to have it any other way! I am loving life to the max!

What's my name again?

Ruin,
Ryan,
Eruin,
Raun,
Druin,
Rian,
Runye,
and just now got another to add to the list : URINE!

Seriously! Who calls their child urine??? I can just smile on my face while agreeing to all these names while bursting out of laughter when people try to pronounce it.

Oh, and also this weekend someone told my mom the most thing they were facinated with was the aboriginals in South Africa. hehe! Another said that she know someone from CaKe Town! Haha! I want to visit Cake Town.

I said bye to my parents today, but it was a "bye, see you in three weeks again"-bye, so it was not to bad. It is still hard however to say goodbye. I saw that in the purity of my mother's tears while she was trying to hold them in. Who would have made reality this way that the best for something or someone you love the most is to set it free?

Anyway, life is good. Sunshine, green nature and a bit of a tan on the bold head.

See what you want to see.

Smile. A smile. A permanent smile. An everlasting smile that makes people think that you are the most happiest living creature in the universe. What if there was a second of sadness? What if there was a month of sadness? The eyes show it you know!

We were in Atlanta this weekend. Not the greatest city I've ever been in, but it was good to see. We were in the Coke meuseum (and yes I've tasted 39 of the 42 different types of coke products till I was on a sugar high, and so bloted that I felt like bursting) and also in the aquarium.

We saw two beluga whales in the aquarium. I was staring at them for a long time. At first the happiness on their faces overwhelmed me. They looked so peaceful and it really looked like they smiled! After sitting for a while and realizing that an animal that is used to the open water is now in a very confined space. Then I've looked deeper. I've noticed that their eyes tell a whole different story than the smile on their faces. They seemed so at peace, but if you open yourself and look deeper, you realize that happy faces do not always portray a happy person. A generalized trait that I've experienced during my time here. Especially over Christmas.

There is a song that say "if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?" Well, if it makes you sad, then why the hell do you look so happy? Be. Live your sad moments. Live your happy moments. Take time to think, and take time to be!
Happy early easter.

Stop.

Stop, think and realize that all was done in only one week. The past week was one of the most fast-paced weeks I've had in my life. So much happened in one single week. I am exhausted at this moment, but I would not want this week to be any different. First of all, my family shared this week with me. I am shocked and amazed by the energy my parents still have. There were times that I felt I cant go further, but they still did....and did it with a smile! So, happiness came to me in so many moments this week, but for now, I will just tell you a few.
1. Arriving in New York, seeing snow still on the ground and throwing my sister with a snowball!
2. Seeing my parents on the subway. Confused amazed and happy.
3. Having beer with whom I now call my dutch conscience.
4. Stopping at every painting in the Guggenheim.
5. My family taking a ride through Vegas with a complete stranger who waited almost an hour for us to get our bags.
6. Standing on top of the world in the Stratoshpere in Vegas. And doing the extreme ride.
7. Sharing a sunset with my sister waiting on the sidewalk for my parents.
8. And last, but not least, taking a crap in the Hilton in Vegas.

In everyone of these moments there were beauty and laughter and fun. I will fill you in with more detail and pictures later, but for now, just know that I had the time of my life!

Old people.

We sat the other day in BBKing bar in Beale Street in Memphis. A great jazz band playing and a little dance floor. Two old couples are dancing on the little dancefloor while the rest of the place is packed. One old guy with a walking stick also decided to join the people dancing. Seeing old people dance is funny, yet so fulfilling in a way. It is good to see people still having fun at that age. Still seeing life's treasures and still full of life. Again, through a moment of utter beauty, life told me to enjoy a little more.

Mardi Gras!

Last week Thursday night at round about 1am an idea came up to go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. This idea took flight in the heads of 5 of us, and planning started. We left Oxford on Friday at about 5:30 pm, and arrived at where we were staying (in a parking lot of a hotel that some other friends were staying in) at round about 12:30am. We then decided to make best of the time we had and decided to go to the bars. On our way walking out of the parking lot, a girl asked us to walk with her to a bar because she did not want to walk alone......thus perfect opportunity to go to the bars.

We ended up getting a bar hopping tour by some cocaine addicts. Nonetheless refusing taking coke, we still had lots of fun, oh and lots of alcohol! The next morning, after a rather uncomfortable, yet satisfying sleep, we drove towards the beach. We looked at the atlas, took the shortest road to the beach....followed that road, got the towns we needed on the atlas, and just before we reached to town by the beach, I suddenly saw a lot of familiar tall buildings......we were back in New Orleans!!! I still to today have not a clue what happened there! My roommate believe I have been abducted by aliens and then left us again in a different location.

We accepted our fate and just returned and went to go see the parade and started drinking again. After a lot of beads and boobs and alcohol in millions of people per square meter, we met up with the international girls and continued partying....again till early morning hours. The drive back was surprisingly short. It was a good, yet random and blurry weekend.

Very cool photo's in a photo booth.